Tuesday, January 27, 2015
This is the day for my first chemo treatment. Feeling weak and just have to sit or lie down for a few minutes. This chair is comfortable and the computer is just around the corner from my bed. Yesterday, I mentioned that I would tell a few things about how I feel.
I'm surprisingly calm about what is wrong. Typically frightened of what's to come as far as chemo goes. I asked my Priest, why if I have a strong faith, am I scared. He said..."It's being human."I've heard such horror stories about this cancer and chemo. I've had a lot of time during wakeful hours to think about this. I've come to the conclusion that it is sort of a gift. I'll explain....
Here I am in the center of it all. Joe has been doing the best he can. He's not in the best shape, so we need all the help we can get. He's learning patience.
My kids and my brother and sister in law.....have always been there for me. We went through their Dad's death and then Tim's a couple of years ago... together. They love me so much and we are a tight family. Daughter in law, Karen, and grand kids are part of this tight family... I know they care deeply.
I told Joe the other day, about my feeling that it's a gift. He said, "A gift???"
As far as the feeling about being a gift....this has helped Joe's kids to see that their dad is old and might need more help. God's already working on this. It is teaching patience and compassion. It has made me understand a relationship in my family...and I have found that just getting to know someone and listen has helped. It has brought a couple of my friends together. It has made friends here in Byron concerned and helping so much. It has helped the Church be able to help someone who needs it. It has brought more prayer among people. Maybe it will bring someone back to Church. I has brought loving comments from my blogger friends...and they are praying.
I feel like I'm in a circle with God's work swirling around. I feel secure . We always hear about bad things happening to good people and wonder why. Why does God let a little child die? Maybe this is the reason....it gives people a way to show what they are made of. Extending prayer and help...where they might not have done so before.
The Lord works in mysterious ways, you know. I can see his working for me everywhere.
These are just a few thoughts of mine.