Mother's Day is Coming and a Book

I've been sort of dreading this Mother's Day. Last year we were so concerned about my son Tim...and hoping that he would be able to fight the disease that finally took his life. When I visited, he said that he remembered it was Mother's Day. My days back then are a little confused, but I think he was on the respirator then. The card that I got from him was one that I will always keep.

I just happened to get a book... that I asked for at our library this morning. It's called "Another Path" by Gladys Taber. She is my favorite author...I think I have read all of her books. She had a feature in a woman's magazine each month....and I read those too. I only wish I had kept those articles. Well, getting back to the book. It's a tiny book of 140 pages. I have read about half of it already. Gladys had a faithful friend, Jill, most of her life. They raised their children together...spending time away from their husbands on vacations, holidays ( their husbands would join them occasionally and especially on holidays) and summers at Stillmeadow. When their spouses died...they combined money and belongings and moved into the house together. The books are all about their adventures in a house built in the 1600's. Some of her books are seasonal...going from season to season...telling of weather, kids, dogs, recipes etc. The book that I picked up this morning....was written when Gladys found herself alone after Jill passed away. She tells about her grief and how she handled it. She had such an upbeat personality and didn't let her grief get the best of her.People made suggestions after Jill died, about what Gladys should do. She felt that she knew herself best...and would stay on and continue like she had been doing. I have found out so many ways of looking at things....from now on, I will say that I am doing something the "Gladys way." For instance...don't live ahead...don't think about how you will handle situations, what you are going to do a year from now...don't live ahead and get yourself in a tizzy about something that might happen. Live in the present and make each day count. When Tim died, I wondered how I could get on without one of my kids? What would happen on his birthday? How could we celebrate the holidays now? Could our family have fun anymore? What would Mother's Day be like? You know, most things we worry about...never happen.....and it's best to just let things be.

The first year has been pretty good. Once in a while, I think of something that reminds me of him. The kids and I laugh about the fun times with Tim. He was such a character.He brought me joy.
My world changed the day Tim died. I have since realized that there can't be life without change. We just have to accept the changes and go with them.

So, for now, I appreciate my remaining two kids more. After he died, I was constantly worrying about them.....not wanting anything bad to happen. When I find myself worrying about them now...I think this....they are intelligent, they have a good background, they are sensible, and they love life. They are smart enough to figure things out for themselves. They wouldn't want their mom worrying about them.

 I realize how precious life is and how fleeting it can be. So, when Mother's Day comes, I'll be thinking of the past, but looking forward to the year ahead.

I have decided that I have to have this book. I just ordered it from Amazon...it's my Mother's Day gift to myself.

Balisha